Can Day-Trips Count as Skip-Gen Travel?
Recently I took a day-trip from our hometown in West Michigan to St. Joseph along the lakeshore, about an hour and a half drive. The occasion was the fifth birthday of one of my granddaughters. She decided to invite her older sister to join us. I wasn’t sure whether or not she’d want the day just to herself, so I gave her the choice and was happy to have both girls along.
Although just a day-trip, it was cute to see how excited they were for days leading up to it. They packed and repacked their bags, asked me over and over what activities were planned, and squealed with delight at the thought of each one.
As my husband helped me pack the car that morning, he asked, “Why on earth are they bringing along so much stuff?” It was a fair question, for it certainly looked like we were leaving for a week – or at least a long weekend: pillows, blankets, backpacks, art supplies, books, dolls, and snacks were all piled into the car. I just chuckled and told him to keep stuffing it in because I knew for them, half the fun had been the anticipation and the joy of packing for “a special trip with Grandma.” As it turned out, they found ways to use most of the stuff they brought along and it kept them busy (and warm) for the nearly three hours of total travel time in the car.
The day was everything we had hoped for. St. Joseph has not one but two fine children’s museums within walking distance of each other (although we drove between them because it was a cold January day). Together they offered so many activities, we couldn’t begin to enjoy them all!
In the same building with one of the museums is a lovely carousel, a must visit for any birthday child because they make such a fuss: playing “Happy Birthday music, providing a special hat (or crown in my granddaughter’s case), and giving out free popcorn and choice of a small gift.
After dinner at the South Beach Pizza restaurant where they give kids pizza dough to play with like Play-Doh, we finished our day’s festivities by enjoying the downtown ice festival, complete with chain saw ice carvings.
On the way down, my older granddaughter entertained us by singing a love song called “Berry Picking Time” and both girls dissolved into absolute hysterics when I tried to sing it. On the way home, I allowed them to watch “The Little Mermaid” on the minvan’s DVD player. (I thought they might fall asleep in the car but they were too captivated by the movie.)
We all agreed it had been a perfect day. But my question is, does it count as skip-gen travel?
A skip-gen trip with a grandchild involves three things: travel, experiencing new things together, and a time for bonding. A good day-trip involves those three things as well. It’s just that because of the length – and the lack of an overnight stay away together – it can feel more like babysitting or keeping the kids entertained for the day to give Mom and Dad a break.
But there’s another element to skip-gen travel: the fact that there’s just a different dynamic happening between a grandparent and grandchild when the parents are not there. I am in no way talking about a conspiratorial “don’t tell Mom and Dad what we did” (wink, wink) type of thing, which is never appropriate. Yes, there will be some degree of indulging and even spoiling during a trip with a grandparent, but it should always be of the kind that has a parent’s blessing. A grandparent should never insert themselves between a parent and child. And you don’t have to, to have that special relationship. It will happen naturally in a skip-gen context, if you focus on the right things.
So, back to day-trips…
I picture grandparent-grandchild involvement as two circles: the first circle contains “babysitting” (that’s a pretty standard expectation) and the second circle contains “skip-gen travel.” However, I also picture the two circles overlapping and in that skinny middle area, I place day-trips.
While fun day-trips can be planned with a grandchild of any age, they are especially suited to the eight-and-under age group. Children of this age may not remember many details about a specific trip, long or short. (On the other hand, they may surprise you with what they remember!)
But younger children definitely remember how you made them feel. Did they feel safe with you? Did they have fun? Did that unconditional love flow both ways? Here the focus is almost entirely on building a warm, loving relationship as a strong foundation for future adventures.
I think back to my recent trip. My granddaughters are fairly young (five and six-and-a-half) but they understand about taking a “trip” and how exciting that can be. They savored the anticipation. They got to “pack,” an essential element of travel. There were the treats they associate with Grandma, like drinking “bubbly water” (just flavored carbonated water, approved by Mom and Dad) in the car. To them, it didn’t matter how long the trip was. It was a trip with Grandma. We had fun and made happy memories together. In other words, it checked off all the boxes for successful skip-gen travel.
So if a day-trip is the only kind of travel you can plan with a grandchild, take heart! They can be every bit as meaningful and important as a longer trip, especially with a younger grandchild.