My Love Affair with Skip-Gen Travel
In my first post, I shared some of the reasons behind the rising popularity of “skip-gen” travel. Personally, I identify with most of those reasons and definitely fit the profile – a baby boomer who took family vacations with my own kids, who still loves to travel, and who now wants to be with and bond with my grandchildren. (I currently have nine – more always welcome!)
My accessibility to my grandchildren’s lives varies widely, from living in the same house with four, to living in the same town with two more, to living seven hours/400 miles away from the other three. In each case, I have found skip-gen trips to be an invaluable way to deepen our relationship and create lasting memories.
Obviously, for the four with whom I live, I am blessed to share many of their interesting, everyday moments. But life is often chaotic with four children six and under (I know – right?!) Although they are still quite young, I find that taking a trip with one of the older two individually, or sometimes together, gives me an opportunity to spend that quiet, quality time that often seems to elude us during everyday interactions.
The same can be said for the other two who live in town. We see a lot of them, doing a fair bit of overnight babysitting because of a recent divorce (welcome to the modern age). But here too, life is pretty hectic, with a lot of juggling of schedules and shuttling them back and forth.
I most grieve that with my grandchildren who live seven hours away, I miss not only all the precious “ordinary” daily moments, but also many – if not most – of their special events: sports games, piano and dance recitals, often even birthdays. Over the years I have grown increasingly frustrated that when we do get together for holidays or other family events – with the chaos of all the cousins together plus my responsibilities for hosting and cooking – time to get to know and bond with each out-of-state grandchild has been pretty much impossible.
Four summers ago I instituted the tradition of “Cousins’ Camp,” where all the grandkids spend time together doing planned activities (along with free time, of course) under Grammy’s supervision – no parents allowed. My oldest granddaughter is very strict about this: the clock for Cousins’ Camp doesn’t start ticking until Mom and Dad leave (usually to take a little holiday of their own!)
But here again, this is a group activity. Although it’s loads of fun (but exhausting!) and the grandkids look forward to it every summer, it does not afford much time for individual grandparent-grandchild bonding.
The second year, right in the middle of the crazy Cousins’ Camp week, my husband and I had a flash of inspiration. We enlisted the help of other family members to entertain the youngest group while we took the oldest two by train to Chicago – just for the day. They were seven and eight at the time and the Amtrak trip was four hours each way, leaving at 6 a.m. and returning us to Grand Rapids just before midnight.
We had planned many activities to keep them entertained during the time spent on the train. This mostly worked on the way there, although by the end of the four hours I think they were beginning to get a little bored. We had to chuckle because on the return trip, they were so exhausted they fell asleep almost immediately and then commented, “Grammy – the trip home was so much shorter than the trip there!”
By the way, I am a HUGE fan of train travel. I think it is an almost ideal way to travel with grandchildren. So far, I have taken seven of my nine grandchildren on train trips and I hope this is just the tip of the iceberg. But more on train travel in a later blog!
We had a glorious day in Chicago. It didn’t hurt that the weather was about as close to perfection as possible. While there we hung out at “the Bean,” visited the aquarium, rode a water taxi, picnicked along the shoreline, and ate ice cream. My granddaughter still talks about the trip and begs to go back to Chicago. For me, I think it was the first time I experienced the value of a skip-gen trip.
I was hooked.
Two summers ago my husband and I bought a little vacation spot in Ludington, close to the shoreline of Lake Michigan. Nothing fancy – just a stationary 40’ RV in a seasonal part of a park. That first summer, I took all three out-of-town grandchildren to stay for five nights and six days. I mostly had them to myself – bliss! – but was happy to share them with my husband when he was able to pop up for a visit.
What followed was an idyllic week of summer perfection: lazy days on the beach, few commitments, freedom to tool around on bikes or hike. We did some formal activities – visits to an historic village and a maritime museum, a lighthouse tour, an underwater robotics class at the local children’s museum – but most of the time was spent with me in a beach chair, watching the kids play for hours along the shore.
Over the last two summers, each of the seven older grandkids has been able to spend time with us up in Ludington. Each trip has been different because they all have different interests and there are so many activities to choose from, but each trip has added to our store of precious memories together.
Although I love to plan longer, unique getaways, I have learned that trips don’t have to be of any particular magnitude to be meaningful. A simple camping trip or weekend getaway with very little planned can provide just as many special bonding opportunities.
My husband and I both lost our mothers young so our kids did not grow up with a grandmother. The same was true for me: both of my parents lost their mothers at age six. While in each case their widowed father remarried and there was a step-grandmother in the picture, for me they lived too far away to play any significant role in my childhood. Ditto for my only surviving grandfather.
My husband, on the other hand, grew up in the same town with all four grandparents for the majority of his childhood. Wow – such a different experience and one so enriching for his life!
I feel hugely blessed to have nine grandchildren and to have the chance to be involved in their lives in meaningful ways. And whether on short, close-to-home little getaways or longer, more involved “exotic” trips, I love the opportunities skip-gen travel provides!
Can’t wait for our next trip!
Have you taken a skip-gen trip with one or more of your grandchildren? What was your experience? What did you love about it? What did you learn? Would you do it again?