Let’s Talk (Travel) Turkey!
Thanksgiving tops the list of holidays when families are all gathered together on the same day. Even family celebrations at Christmastime tend to be spread over a broader time period, not just on Christmas Day. But on Thanksgiving, you can usually count on looking around the table and having all or most of the family there.
Conventional wisdom says to avoid topics such as religion and politics if you also want to avoid possible arguments and the accompanying indigestion. Sometimes even sports discussions can get pretty heated…
So, what pleasant topic is there to talk about? How about skip-gen travel plans?
If you are new to the idea of skip-gen travel and wonder what it’s all about, check out my previous blog: “Why All the Buzz About Skip-Gen Travel?”
I originally envisioned this post from the grandparents’ point of view and how to get the parents (the “skipped” generation) on board with the idea of letting their child/children travel solo with a grandparent.
For the plan to be successful, the idea should first be presented before everyone is seated together around the dining room table. Parents need time to process the idea and discuss it together before anything is mentioned in front of the grandchildren. But if the idea does get a green light, what fun to talk about the possibilities, including the grandchildren in the discussion!
What are some of the benefits you can list when first presenting the idea to the parents?
I listed many of them in my previous post but let me recap some of them below.
- Numerous studies have shown how important it is to a child’s development to have a loving and close relationship with a grandparent.
- Grandparents can offer trips that might not be possible for parents to do.
- Traveling together not only broadens a child’s horizons, it provides a relaxed opportunity to bond in ways not always possible during hectic everyday life and family get-togethers.
The ace card, of course, is to dangle before their eyes the possibility of a child-free break where they can work/travel/relax and recharge their emotional batteries!
In the initial discussion, be respectful of any concerns the parents may raise. Perhaps they have concerns about your health or stamina. Perhaps they are afraid the child will be homesick or that certain rules important to them may not be followed by you. The primary foundational principle to keep in mind is that the parents are still the parents and the ones ultimately responsible for the child’s welfare. They know the child best and can guide you in planning a successful trip if you listen to their concerns and suggestions.
But perhaps you are a “mid-gen” and you are the one wanting to broach the idea to your parents (or in-laws). Many of the same benefits still apply – just flip them! You may want to stress how grateful you are for the way they raised you and how you would love for your child/children to benefit from their wisdom and love.
It’s also okay to mention how much a break would benefit your marriage or life – just don’t make them feel guilty if they aren’t open to the idea!
It’s not possible or necessary to cover every angle before agreeing the general idea should get a green light. It is enough to outline some basic parameters: time of trip (summer? school holiday?); one grandchild at a time or several together?; length of trip; and a general budget. All the rest can be tweaked during the planning phases that will follow.
Two essential tips to get you started:
1. Regardless of the child’s age, involve them to some degree in the planning. Planning is half the fun and the kids shouldn’t be left out of that fun! The older the child, the more they can be involved, but it’s possible – and profitable – to find ways to involve even a young child.
2. If you have not spent much time together or have not traveled anywhere together on your own, plan something small to begin with – an overnight or possibly a weekend close to the child’s home. That way, if homesickness rears its head or there is some other issue that requires the parent, it is not a crisis.
My husband and I learned this the hard way. In August of 2017, we took our four oldest grandchildren on a 2,750-mile road trip (more on that in a later post!) They were 9, 8, barely 6 and barely 5 at the time. The two oldest and the youngest were from the same family and, having each other, they had no problem being away from Mom and Dad. The second youngest was away from her entire nuclear family but because she adored her cousins and had spent a great deal of time with my husband and me, we never anticipated a problem. And there wasn’t one – until our first night in North Carolina when we were twelve hours from home. Said child began to sob at bedtime because she missed her mom. We weathered the crisis (she was quite inconsolable for awhile!) mostly through a phone call home and she was fine for the rest of the trip, but it did demonstrate to us the wisdom in first doing a close-to-home trial run.
So, is everybody on board? Hurray! Start dreaming…then plan to make some of those dreams come true. Life is short and times a-wastin’ – happy trails, arrivederci, bon voyage!